novel stuff — climbing out of the rut

I woke up this morning 20 minutes before my alarm went off. Didn’t even consider going back to sleep — just laid there and thought about story stuff.

Yesterday I didn’t finish the last scene of a chapter because I wasn’t sure what needed to happen there. Now, I’m not convinced I need that scene at all. Am still thinking about it. (I know what I want to accomplish with it, in terms of character arc, but I may be able to do that a different way. As I said, still thinking about it.)

So this morning, instead of fighting with that scene, trying to outline it or maybe rewrite it as dialog, I did something completely different. I just started the next chapter.

I *never* do that kind of thing. I *always* finish one thing before starting the next. But I’ve been *dying* to write this chapter. And I managed 900 words without really trying (stopped there because that’s the end of the first scene.) I *love* the voice for this chapter. Of the six POVs, four of them are easy like this — I can literally hear the character speaking every word.

When I get like this, when I start feeling this way, I feel as though I have to disagree with people when they call me disciplined. Right now, it takes practically *no* discipline to write every morning. It’s habit as much as anything else — it feels *wrong* to get up and not write. Plus, it’s a *joy* to write as I am currently. I feel centered, strong, secure. I’ve missed this feeling tremendously. I was thinking about it — it’s probably been since June 2004 since I felt this way. (I got sick June 21st last year with that larynx infection — and it was all downhill after that. The last 12 months or so just haven’t been easy.)

I’m worried that this “up” is temporary — that the abyss is going to suck me back down, that I’ll have to go back to being disciplined, as it will be the only way I’ll get any writing done. I can’t worry about it too much though. For now, I’m just going to ride the wave as long as I can, enjoy and flourish in the groove.