Thanks for all the well wishes and kind thoughts. I appreciate it.
My emotions seem to cycle. Sometimes I feel okay and other times I don’t. I’m still not sleeping well. But I actually got hungry today – first time since I heard the news. So that’s a good thing. I haven’t managed to sleep through the night yet – maybe tonight, though. I’m going to post this and take a nap I think.
I don’t know if I’m still in shock – might be. Still feel like my brain’s shut down, most of the time, like every thought has to fight its way through layers of cotton. Tomorrow we start going through my mom’s things. The memorial service is on Wednesday. We met with the minister today to plan the service. It’s going to be okay – but the service isn’t the important part for me, or for my family. After the service everyone is going to gather together and have cake and cookies and coffee and like that. That part, that fellowship, is what’s important. My parents were incredibly social. They were always going out to dinners and breakfasts and like that with friends. Though my dad’s going to have to continue on alone, he has a huge support group to help, which is crucial for this transition. I anticipate that he’s going to stay just as social, if not more so, now.
This afternoon my dad said that he decided that all life wasn’t going to end just because my mother had died. This is such a relief to me – because up until that time, he kept saying that he just wanted to die. I’m still not sure about him – don’t know if he’ll make it through this next year. If he makes it through this next year, he’ll survive forever. (He and my mom were married for 57 years.)
This has been a hard year – Mike’s car accident in February (he totaled his car), me being sick all summer, and now this. I know I can get through all this, still, it just feels really hard right now.
I wrote like a fiend for the first day, day and half or so. Haven’t written a word since. May start again, may not. We’ll see if I can manage to feel good enough to write soon.
While this kind of thing is never a good thing, and there’s never a good time for a death to occur, having to find out about it at World Fantasy wasn’t the worst timing in the world either. It was good for me to be surrounded by friends and people who understood. I went to the mass autographing after I’d found out (and had taken care of all the things that I needed to take care of, like plane tickets, packing, etc.) If I hadn’t gone, I would have been climbing the walls, looking for something to do. So it was good for me to be there, good for me to be with so many people, good to have so many people taking care of me. I really appreciate it – thanks to David Coe and Anne Harris and my Clarion classmates and Dan and Tom (and the scotch!) and Byron and and and. . . Seriously. Thank you one and all. It really helped.
::hugs and smooches for you all::
Seriously – I appreciate all the support you’ve shown me so far. It really helps to have so many people around. Thanks.
Hugs.
It’s amazing how important connecting to other people can become, at such times.
let us at mythic know if there is anything we can do.
we would love to see you if you have time.
dragling would love it too.
No ideas if I’ll have time, but if I do, I’ll call.
Thanks for the support.
::massive hugs, to you and your household::
Very, very sorry about the blow you have taken. (And on a far lesser front, I was sorry not to get to meet you this past weekend at WFC.)
Take time to be gentle with yourself as well as your dad!
It’s really good of you to check in like this. When you have a moment, I’d love to hear about your mom.
*hugs*
more in email
Hugs.
It’s amazing how important connecting to other people can become, at such times.
let us at mythic know if there is anything we can do.
we would love to see you if you have time.
dragling would love it too.
No ideas if I’ll have time, but if I do, I’ll call.
Thanks for the support.
::massive hugs, to you and your household::
Very, very sorry about the blow you have taken. (And on a far lesser front, I was sorry not to get to meet you this past weekend at WFC.)
Take time to be gentle with yourself as well as your dad!
It’s really good of you to check in like this. When you have a moment, I’d love to hear about your mom.
*hugs*
more in email
Still
You (and now, your dad) remain in my thoughts.
Z
P.S.: And again with the ::hugs::
Still
You (and now, your dad) remain in my thoughts.
Z
P.S.: And again with the ::hugs::
Hugs. You and yours are still very much in my thoughts.
Hugs. You and yours are still very much in my thoughts.
Hugs upon hugs upon hugs, Leah.
–Terry
(just found you here)
Hugs upon hugs upon hugs, Leah.
–Terry
(just found you here)