I tend to approach the world with confidence. Or at least most people who know me believe that. And it’s mostly true. It isn’t that my confidence is faked — but sometimes it isn’t as complete as it appears externally. It may be squishy, easily dissolved, or even hollow in places.
This weekend I received a critique of novel #2 from the absolutely marvelous obadiah. (Thank you again!)
Prior to the big push (100 days of rewrite of all three novels) I know that his critique, at some level, would have been difficult. Perhaps made me feel hopeless — a lot of critiques over the years have made me feel that way, whether I’ve shown it or admitted it or not. It always takes me a while to get over the hurt and to the, “Okay, I can fix this.”
This time, there wasn’t any of that. I think there are several reasons for my reaction, the primary one being I’ve been practicing rewriting, stretching and growing those muscles. I feel as though I got a ton of experience doing the big push — so much so that I have a process for rewriting now. It’s going to be a lot of work, but hard work doesn’t scare me. I feel up to the challenge, completely confident. (And this morning just came up with a solution for one of the things I need to fix.)
Another reason: though I think these novels are good, I was prepared to be told they sucked and I had to do a complete overhaul (and I still may hear that, from my other critiquers.) My attitude has changed. I’ll do whatever I need to do to make these novels a success. I’ve always had this attitude to some extent. I just feel as though I’m more willing to do the necessary work, as well as more capable of doing it.
Why has my attitude shifted? That’s another post for another time, I think.
I NEVER got over the wounded by critique problem with my writing. And I’m still trying to overcome it with photography. Good on ya! (uh, as one might say.)
I am completely surprised that I’m handling this as I have been. It’s a real change in my process and perception. I hope this happens for you some day.
“I tend to approach the world with confidence. Or at least most people who know me believe that. And it’s mostly true. It isn’t that my confidence is faked — but sometimes it isn’t as complete as it appears externally. It may be squishy, easily dissolved, or even hollow in places.”
i think we’re all like that to varying degrees. if someone tells you they’re *never* insecure either they’re lying or a sociopath. 😉 i also think that one can lose the thick skin one develops in crit groups. (which worries me since i’m not in one anymore.) good on you for not being stopped or even paused. seriously. awesome!
Thanks! I’m still kind of surprised at my reaction, but pleased.
Hey hon. Were you gonna send me the books for reading?
I sent the books electronically on May 4th. I am resending them right now. Let me know if you still don’t get them and we’ll figure out something else.