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You may or may not have realized that I’m currently at war. The tempo has accelerated tremendously in the last few weeks.
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A damned Northern Flicker, a type of woodpecker.
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The initial incursion began eighteen months ago, while I was in Portland for six weeks taking care of my niece post brain surgery.
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The Northern Flicker (AKA, the asshole) hung around my place for most of the time I was gone. He discovered that he likes pecking on glass. I believe he likes the sound it makes.
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I honestly don’t mind him doing that, as long as he sticks to hours I’m awake.
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The problem is that he gets comfy doing it, then starts shitting all over my porch.
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Because my husband wasn’t living in TH2 (that’s Tiny House 2 for the new comers) but over at the main house, he didn’t realize what all was going on until after the asshole bird had ruined the screen for my kitchen window. The damned bird would cling to the screen, his talons slicing up the mesh, while he pecked at the glass.
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And shitting the entire time. I came home to find a three-inch-high pile of bird shit under my kitchen window.
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So I had to come up with barriers for my house, to keep the damned bird away.
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Eventually, the asshole migrated for the winter. And he didn’t come back to bother me early in the spring. He didn’t arrive back at the property until close to mid-summer.
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When he returned, he wasn’t alone. No, he had a mini-me with him, a smaller male flicker.
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That he then taught the other bird how much fun it was to attack my house.
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And I literally mean attack. When I’ve blocked everything, he lands on the tree just outside my front sliding-glass doors, then flings himself at the glass, making a loud PONG noise that he seems to like.
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So now I have TWO damned birds who think it’s fun to peck at the glass of my house while leaving their mess behind.
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I’m hoping that both of the damned birds migrate soon.
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Here’s the barrier in front of the door to TH2. The trays are covered in duct tape. The screen has tape on the edge of it, so that the asshole can’t cling to it and tap at the door.
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Here’s poor Bobby, my grill. The asshole doesn’t like aluminum foil, so taping that to Bobby’s cover means that it doesn’t get covered in shit.
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Here’s my kitchen window. I was taping a cut-up brown-paper bag under the window to keep the asshole from clinging there. I changed that out this year for aluminum foil, which has proven to be more effective. Plus you'll note that the screen is completely covered in tape.
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The reason why the asshole prefers my kitchen window—it’s close to a post that holds up the roof. I’ve taped a couple of things to the post to keep him away, but that wasn’t enough. So now we’ve blocked the entire post.
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ION, I still have a Kickstarter running! Yay! We’ve funded, but I’d like to do more than merely fund, if that’s possible. So please either consider backing me, or possibly telling your friends about the campaign.
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And, if you like my Kickstarter, here are a couple of others that you might enjoy as well.
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An IT sisterhood triumphs in a clever novella of tech job survival, the power of friendship, and the satisfaction of evening the score. Almost everyone knows that coworker.
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Favorite heroes and heroines of classic 1980s indie comics rise again in brand-new prose stories by their legendary original creators.
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A brand new cozy mystery. With magic. And MEAT.
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🥩 Love cozy mysteries with strong, bantering, female leads
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🥩 Think quirky characters and delicious BBQ are the perfect backdrop for murder
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🥩 Want charming small towns and a light sprinkling of magic in your mysteries
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Then this is the next book for your TBR pile!
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Daring starship captain? Check.
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Best friend/deadly assassin? Check.
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Rosey may, perhaps, be a little upset when the hacker that Jamaal hires steals the alien data core that he was supposed to decode.
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Of course, he has a secret lair on a volcano. What super villain wouldn’t?
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Breaking into this stronghold is only the start of the “juvenile delinquency” that Rosey and the gang must take on to get it back.
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Alien Codex—the second book in the Live Alien Contact series—is full of cons, capers, and misdirection.
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Be sure to read the rest of this finished series!
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Available from the KRP store Oct 10. Generally available Oct 21.
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To celebrate the release of the NEW science fiction series by Leah R Cutter (Live Alien Contact) the first novel in her other science fiction series (The Long Run) is on sale for only $0.99!
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The Universal Trading Cartel has Judit trapped.
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Her choices stink: prison down on a planet, or serving the Cartel as another peon in their soul-crushing machine.
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Her savior? An alien trying to break the stranglehold the Cartel has over all trade.
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Her job? Command an experimental spaceship containing more secrets than anyone will ever imagine, let alone believe. Enough to get them all killed if the truth ever comes out.
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Her shadowy boss calls it Project Nemesis.
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She’ll be free of the Cartel or die trying.
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Project Nemesis—the first book in the space opera series The Long Run—takes you on a wild ride with aliens, corporate espionage, and, oh yeah, lots of snark.
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Be sure to read all the books in this completed series!
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