Essay – Reflections Forward and Back

2022 has been a year. While this wasn’t the most difficult year of my life, it certainly hasn’t been easy. And this December the hits have just kept coming, with furnace problems, well-pump problems, and power problems. (We’ve lost power for significant amounts of time the last three days. It’s early today—no guarantees that we’ll have power all day. Though I’m hopeful that we will, as the horrible weather has finally passed.)

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, per se. I do set some goals, generally writing goals.

What I am doing this year is trying to shift my focus, and pick up some new things.

I play games on my phone. I enjoy playing games on my phone. I change out from one game to the next frequently. (The only game that I continue to go back to on a regular basis is Two Dots. Nothing else has stuck like that.)

However, I have found that my default is to just pick up my phone instead of doing other things. So for the new year, I’m shifting my focus away from my games and toward other things.

Like what?

Like reading. What I’ve been doing this past week, is every time I pick up my phone to play a game, I stop myself and ask, is this really what I want to be doing? Should I instead be picking up my book and start reading again?

There are times when I would rather be reading. So this shift has started to happen. There are also times when no, I just want to play a game.

I enjoy working with my hands, crocheting or knitting. I haven’t been doing that much. If I have a simple enough pattern, I can do handwork while reading at the same time. I have a lot of satisfaction doing that. So I’m starting to pick up projects again, just little things, and making stuff while I’m reading at night. I find that very soothing as well.

The other thing I’ve been trying to pick up is a meditation habit. I had a good one going years ago, just before I reconnected with my husband. I was meditating for fifteen minutes every night just before I went to bed.

Having someone else in my bedroom routine kind of messed that up. So I’m trying to find other places where I can start fitting meditation back in. I’ve been doing it in the mornings, instead of playing a game. That’s been pretty successful. The afternoon session has sometimes worked, sometimes not. Just depends.

Again, this isn’t a declaration of, “I’m going to start meditating!” This is a shift of awareness, to make myself realize what my default behavior is, and sliding it toward something else. No absolutes or ultimatums.

By the first of the year, I hope to be back in Keto. During the holiday season, I didn’t even bother. It’s been interesting to me just how awful I’ve felt. It’s been a really good reminder that while eating healthy takes more time and energy, eating in an unhealthy manner makes me feel sucky.

And come the first of the year, I’ll focus on losing weight as well. Kind of gave that up for a lost cause during the holidays and all the baking. Which means eating less and walking more.

I won’t jump straight into any of these things. I’ll do something of a gradual buildup. While going great guns on everything usually works for me, I’ve found that with the diet, a gradual approach suits me better.

So there you have it. A slow shift away from games on my phone to other things. I’ll check in mid-year and let you know how I’m doing. I hope that your resolutions and shifts are successful and that 2023 is a much better year.

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