Last week was a pretty shitty week. This is not an accountability blog. Trying to hold myself accountable during such a bad week makes me feel as though I’m punishing myself. Instead, let’s just say I did the best I could in regards to writing, walking, my hands, and email. Particularly since my period showed up again last week.

Last week, I went in for my annual eye checkup. I’ve been seeing this eye doctor for the last four years. I like her a lot. She has always struck me as competent.

For the most part, my eyes are fine. Part of the reason why I went in to see her is because my eyes are a little blurry. I was assuming that I needed a new prescription.

However, my eye doctor let me know that I have cataracts.


She said I probably would need an operation on my eyes for 3 to 5 years. Possibly longer, pending on how much I could tolerate the blurriness that has already begun.

Well, fuck.

As one might imagine, I have been doing a lot of Google searches on cataracts. I am not a doctor. My understanding may be faulty. As far as I can tell though, there are three different types of cataracts.

The most common type is the slow-growing type of cataract. My brother had these. He was originally diagnosed in 2000. He didn’t qualify for surgery until 2019.

Then you have faster-growing cataracts. I am assuming that is what I have, based on the doctor saying that I would need surgery in 3 to 5 years. This type of cataract tends to start in the center of the lens. The slower-growing cataracts tend to start on the edges of the lens. My assumption is that she based her diagnosis on where the cataracts were growing, as well as the fact that I’ve never had cataracts before, and now my eyes are starting to blur from them.

Then there are the fastest-growing cataracts. Chances are, I don’t have these, though they frequently present similarly to the merely fast-growing cataracts. We will know quickly if this is actually the type of cataracts that I have. The blurriness would increase in a matter of months as opposed to years.

The good news is that I have insurance as well as money and I can get my eyes fixed. The surgery is common here in the US, and relatively painless. Not only that, the lenses that they insert can fix my vision, so that I’ll never need glasses again.

I am trying to focus on this. Because the bad news is that insurance won’t pay for my lenses to be replaced until after they are occluded a specific percent. This means that I am looking forward to 3 to 5 years of my sight getting more and more blurry.

I will admit that I felt pretty beat up when I received this diagnosis. First there was the knee, then there was the arthritis in my hands, and now it’s my eyes. I don’t even want to think about what might go wrong next. I am aware that at some point I need to get my hearing tested. And my teeth constantly require work.

I feel better about the diagnosis of cataracts now. This is just another lesson in patience, as well as giving myself the grace to — I don’t want to say fail, but possibly to not push as hard.

I posted an essay recently about making adjustments for my age. This is just going to be another one of those. As I’ve said before, “Old age is not for sissies.” And I am learning that more and more.

What challenges are you overcoming in your life right now?