Yesterday was a hard day. One of the worst so far. You’d think that after four weeks, it would consistently be better. That hasn’t been the case, at least for me.
I woke up feeling really rough. You know those mornings when even the air feels heavy, and it takes more effort than it should just to push yourself upright? As if the air’s grown thick and every little movement is going to take more effort than it should?
That was yesterday morning. I ached, kind of all over.
In addition to the physical distress, I was mentally distraught. I felt frazzled. Not so much vulnerable as just everything was too much work.
It took me a while to figure out what was going on – I was having severe nerve pain issues. It started in my knee and radiated down to my ankle, up to my groin, then across my hips and around my waist. Emotionally, it felt as though all my nerves were on fire as well.
Did I mention that yesterday wasn’t a good day? I’ve felt through out my recovery as if I’m constantly taking two steps forward, one step back. Yesterday was very much that one step back.
I spent yesterday afternoon listening to music, playing games on my phone, with a purring kitty in my lap. That was about the extent of what I could cope with.
I didn’t write yesterday, and that was a relief. While I will start up the streak again, and I could have pushed through and written something yesterday, it wouldn’t have been pleasant. I’m glad that I’m taking a month off before I start up writing every day again.
In many way, yesterday was really a day off. I needed it more than I can express.
I did walk all through out the day. Moving felt good. It helped. I wasn’t moving a lot, just getting in my steps for the hour.
So later that evening, when I was feeling better, we went out grocery shopping. That turned out to be a huge mistake. I was fine until I wasn’t, until it felt as though someone was driving nails through both my groin and my knee.
That faded, but then all the muscles in my thigh clenched up. I was limping pretty badly by the time we got out of there. Fortunately, I was able to heat up those muscles when I got home, and take the heavy duty pain meds as well.
It took a while to fall asleep. Though the pain meds relaxed my thigh muscles nicely, they don’t touch the nerve pain.
Feeling so much better this morning. However, I didn’t really ice my knee yesterday. I tried once, and the ice was so painful. It sparked that nerve making shooting pain go from my knee down to my ankle and up to my groin. This was the first time that the ice hurt that way. So I’m swollen this morning, and am icing extra in order to make up for it.
Today I’ll recover. Tomorrow I’ll be able to move forward again. It’s one of those days when I have to be very careful with my language. I don’t have a bad knee, or an injured knee. I have a knee that’s healing. If I’m gentle with it, it will heal more, and possibly faster. And right now, I need to go put more ice on it.