I fondly remember the days when I used to drink coffee regularly. I roasted my own beans and I had a complete ritual for making it that involved the Aeropress. We still call the box that holds all the accoutrement for making coffee the coffee altar.

However, coffee stopped loving me, as it were. Instead of a delightful drink it became a trial to my stomach and I started having intestinal issues.

Sometimes I drank it anyway, and just dealt with it.

Other times, though, I could drink coffee and not have any issues whatsoever. I learned to listen to my body. If the thought of coffee sounded OMG fantastic, then I could have one, and I wouldn’t have any issues. If I felt neutral about it, chances were I’d have things to deal with later that would not be pleasant. And I always had to eat something first. Coffee on an empty stomach, no matter how good it might sound, was always a bad thing.

The thought of coffee only sounds fantastic once or twice a month now. I still have my Aeropress, my coffee altar, and I still make damned good coffee.

Frequently, when I’m exhausted (as I am currently – dealing with day two of a light version of con crud from Florida) coffee sounds like a great idea. It’s going to taste good and I’m going to get a lot of energy from it. Right?

Yeah, this is where things get weird. (Because of course. It’s me and my body.)

95% of the time, coffee acts as a stimulant. Drink coffee, get that lovely caffeine rush, and just go.

5% of the time, coffee acts as a soporific. Drink coffee, go take a nap.

I get unbelievably sleepy sometimes after I drink coffee. Cannot keep my eyes open. Am absolutely miserable until I go take a nap. The nap will be deep and heavy. I’ll lay down and won’t move for 30 minutes. Then I’ll either roll over and sleep for another 30 minutes, or I’ll finally be able to get up and be vaguely coherent.

I figured I’d throw the question out to the rest of you: have you ever experienced coffee that way? Or any type of caffeine? I know that Ritalin is a stimulant for calming ADHD, but it works on a different mechanism than caffeine.

In the meanwhile, I’m going to finish my coffee and go take a nap.