As I said before, I have been having a lot of thinky thoughts on this topic recently. The Patreon work has been particularly illuminating.

We all have voices in our heads that tear us down. One of the loudest voices in my head tells me that I’m lazy. For example, the reason why I’m highly efficient is because I’m lazy. If I get a lot done in a short period of time, then I have more time to goof off, when I should be doing more things. Etc.

I know which parental figure called me lazy, and I continue to process that.

This last week, though, I had the interesting experience of calling myself lazy in a new way.

I figured I would share my experience in case some of you also experience this, so that you might have another wedge to use against the critical voices. Knowledge is power.

As I mentioned above, my Patreon has been a lovely, lovely thing, both in terms of making me happy as well as being very educational.

When I initially did my Patreon, I did things that I though other people would like. However, I wasn’t thrilled with it. Tried it again, same results.

This third time, though…Wow. I have so many ideas for posts over there! I filled out postcards last night and sent them to people, which I also got a serious charge out of. It reminds me of my newsletter, in some ways.

I send out my newsletter twice a month (and yes, will get to write one today!) I like writing my newsletter. It’s fun. I write with my most authentic voice in those. Which does mean a lot of exclamation marks. (^_^)

Because my newsletter is fun, I’ll do the work.

Because my Patreon is fun, I’ll do the work.

Therefore, I must be LAZY because I’m not willing to do the work when it actually involves work. Never mind that I’m doing twice as much because I like it. Nope. Lazy.

I’m not sure who exactly said that to me initially. It wasn’t my parents, because they always said, “Do what you love and the money will follow.” Possibly it was one of my ex-husbands. Possibly it was a school teacher. I’m not sure. Still processing.

But just because I enjoy my work doesn’t mean I’m lazy. It just means I’m smart. I’ll do the work and be happy about it. I also won’t burn out. It’s similar to the balancing act I have to do as a full-time writer: can’t make the writing work or IMPORTANT, but I still have to value it.

My job is publishing. Not writing. I get to write.

And speaking of such…The writing has been lovely. And easy. I still get stuck sometimes, but instead of having to quit for the day while I think of what comes next, I think for a short while and then figure it out. I’m easily hitting my 3000 words per day goal. I suspect the lack of the correct thyroid medication really messed me up for most of the year. At least it’s solved now.

I wish you all the best of luck with whatever your processing at the moment. Share only if you really want to, if that would help you.