I feel as though I’ve taken a few solid steps forward. I’m feeling much better. Falling into a routine again. Got to the gym a few times. Walked a lot more than I have been. Saw the needle on the scale drop a little.

This morning I started with Yorkshire Gold tea, then added cacao nibs and ginger to the bag. Yum.

Blaze and I were talking about the world building that you kind of need to do constantly if you’re going to be turning out novels as fast as we have been. He spends a lot of time in the afternoons and evenings just typing up notes and world building.

I do world building in fits and snatches. Sometimes I’ll sit down and do a lot of it. But I don’t do steady world building as he does. This means that my word count goes down because I’m not able to go immediately from one project to the next.

I don’t write like my husband does. Every writer is unique in terms of their process. I feel as though I’m still figuring out my process when it comes to writing full time while healthy. I have plenty of experience writing while sick or stressed. (^_^)

I used to do my world building when I was too sick to write. I’d spend a lot more time in bed, day dreaming. Or just looking out the window.

I talked about this in December, how I needed more time looking out the window. I’m feeling that right now. I would like to start the next novel. However, I also feel as though I need to spend at least one more day looking out the window, doing the world building that I need to do for this trilogy.

In the first book, you don’t meet the bad guys until almost the last chapter. I knew a lot about them. But I need to know more about them now, and I just don’t have that yet. It might only take me ten minutes this morning to figure them out. It might take all morning.

And I have to be okay with that. I have to be okay with writing when I feel I can, as opposed to trying to force myself to write something before I’m ready. Yes, it means less word count. I can’t care about that.

Like many writers, the fun comes with making shit up. I truly enjoy that. I also have to honor that impulse. If I’m not having fun, if I’m forcing myself to write, then I’m going to burn out really fast.

I did write a flash piece yesterday that I’m going to go over first. Then I’m going to sit down and see what I need to know about the bad guys before I start writing.

Blaze writes into what we call, “dimly lit hallways.” I mostly write into pure darkness, without a clue of what’s going to happen next.

I don’t have to know a lot before I can start the next novel. I just need a little more. And I don’t believe this is fear that’s stopping me. This is just hesitation. Lack of knowledge. Fear would be a stronger feeling.

So what is holding you back today? Fear? Or lack of knowledge?

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