TLDR; To the men out there – what have you done today to make the women in your life feel safer?

Fact: There are women who you know who have been sexually assaulted. They may or may not have ever told you about it.

Chances are, they are feeling a bit more vulnerable right now than they have been.

Men – what actions have you taken, what words have you said, to make the women in your life feel safer?

Yesterday morning, three good ol’ boys got on the elevator with my husband and I as we were going in search of coffee.

My first reaction?


I am NOT a fearful person. Fuck that shit. I am SO ANGRY that was my first reaction.

I am also, however, going to honor that honest response.

Thankfully, I’ve never been raped. I have been sexually assaulted, more than once. (Once was so severe, that even now, thirty-plus years later, I had to talk to my husband when we first started being intimate about how he touches certain areas of my body. And yes, that still pisses me off as well.)

The other thing I noticed while traveling yesterday–and maybe it’s just me making shit up (I am a writer and I do that professionally)–but at the airport, on the airplane, I had more women making eye contact with me than ever before. Not men. But women. As if to say, “I see you. I got you. Someone hassling you? You come see me.”

So again–men–what have you done to make the women in your life feel safer?

My husband shuts up and listens. He has been trying to provide safe spaces for women. He doesn’t blame me for being vulnerable, just supports me through this.

Tell the women in your life that you support them. That you will believe them. I don’t care who you believe or don’t believe in the current fiasco, if you believe Dr. Ford or not.

Believe the women in your life.

Trust them if they say anything. Or even if all they can do is tear up and keep their mouth shut. Support them. Believe them. Let them know that you will believe them if they ever do choose to say anything.

What have you done today?