Normally, I like to do these check ins on Monday. Since the end of the month was coming, I decided to wait until today.

Health wise, I have to admit that I’m only doing okay today. My hormones are all over the place. Today is a day when I don’t feel great. Couldn’t sleep last night–brain was racing and racing. Finally took something to help me sleep, but now I feel as though I’m only partially awake.

After the one day when I chose to eat junk for dinner (a decision that I still do not regret in the least) I’ve been pretty focused on eating healthy. However, today is one of those days when I acknowledge that even having a fantastic diet is not enough. I feel crappy. I would probably feel much worse if I hadn’t been eating well. And hopefully this will pass and I’ll feel fine by mid-afternoon. We’ll see.

But that brings me along to the next topic–the writing.

My original goal for July was to maintain Pulp Speed 1, that is, 85K per month. I had planned to reach this goal by writing 3000 words per day, 7 days per week.

I knew better than to try to use this method for this goal. I still tried anyway.

Last month, I wrote 68K words. I acknowledge that this is nothing to sneeze at. That’s a lot of words in a short period of time.

I didn’t reach my goal, however.

Where did I fall down?

It wasn’t the 3K words in a day. That’s the easy part, quite frankly.

The problem was trying to write 7 days per week. While I know people who can do that (hello, husband) that isn’t sustainable for me, not over the course of a month. I will try to write every single day, try to get to the page everyday. However, there are going to be days (like today) when there are no words because there is no brain.

So instead, I’ve tweaked my process. My goal is now 4000 words per day, 5 days per week. That’s a little under the goal of 21K per week, but I know I can make that by writing a little extra here and there.

Writing 5 days per week is much more sustainable for me. It also means writing a little more per day. I can easily do that. I’ve changed my schedule to give me more writing time in the mornings, so that if I need to do 4 hours of writing, I can do that. And be thankful for the days like yesterday, when I wrote 4600 words in just a little over three hours.

I do still try to write even on the bad days. The goal is 500 words on those days. So I still might get to the page 7 days per week. But I don’t have to try to get 3000 words every single day. That takes the pressure off. And it means that I get more time and get to write more on the good days.

Notice the language: I never HAVE to write 4000 words in a day. I get to. I get to spend the time I need writing. Writing is such a joy for me. I love making shit up. I have so much fun.

It’s always a dance, between putting focus on time at the keyboard and allowing myself to play when I get there. I’ve gotten good at it. But this last month was a reminder of how much I need to stay balanced. Focusing on writing 7 days a week put too much pressure on me, on the writing. Knowing that I have a couple of days off per week means I have some breathing room, so I don’t have to feel guilty when I can’t get to the page.

Like today.