It’s been 110 days since my last migraine.
Before now, I generally always had migraines associated with my menstruation cycle.
Then I only had headaches associated with my cycle.
These days, I don’t even have headaches.
Two-three days before my latest cycle, I had what I would call a bad day. I didn’t really have a headache, just something that loomed at the back of my head that wanted to be a headache, but never turned into one.
The actual day of my cycle, I was sick with a cold. I had something of a headache, but honestly, I think that was due to sinuses, not hormones.
I did end up with another headache this month, possibly due to physical stress, possibly due to eating something I shouldn’t have, possibly due to coughing so damned much.
But that’s my life now. I feel as though I still need to eat low carb. When I have too much sugar in any form I end up with a slight headache. (I don’t count those headaches because they usually go away within an hour and I don’t have to “treat” them at all.)
So now I need to learn how to be healthy without migraines.
I was sick this last week because I was stupid. I had a very slight cold. It would have only lasted two days. But instead of resting like I should have, I continued to do physical things and so ended up being sick for more than a week. Today is really the first day in a week and a half when I’m not coughing up a lung.
I feel as though I have times when I’m able to be balanced, to take breaks, to not push. But that is so far from my default state. I have *always* pushed through everything. As I have said before, I’m more stubborn than the average bear. For a really, really long time, my motto has been, “It’s just pain. Ignore it.”
And now I’m paying for ignoring all those aches and pains, for never learning what it meant to actually feel tired, for refusing to stop, ever.
This stubbornness of mine has taken me far. But this year, I’m still working on learning moderation. My husband teases me about his doubts of my ever achieving this goal.
Then again, I am stubborn enough that I think I can change the habits of a lifetime.
I won’t learn this week, or even this month. Possibly not even this year. But it’s going to be a focus for me for a while.
Or at least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Much better than “I need to slow down because I’m getting old.”