I had wanted to say something intelligent, possibly witty, in this, the inaugural post of my LJ. However, a friend of mine, Katherine Lawrence, killed herself this past week, and I find that all my thoughts keep turning to her.


While I would call Katherine a friend, we weren’t close friends. We also had a business aspect to our relationship–she created, and had maintained, my website.

I’m sad that Katherine felt the only way to deal with her situation was to end her life. Someone else said that once, when Katherine was sick, she expressed surprise over the number of people who came to the hospital, who had wanted to help her. I agree with their assessment–it only she’d remembered that these past few weeks. When I lived in Tucson, I found the Tucson writer’s community very inclusive. I would have thought that Katherine would have found it to be the same, or even more so, as she’d lived there for much longer than I had.

I remember reading about a study about suicides in Minnesota, where I grew up. You would think that most suicides would occur during the winter months, when you have days, months even, filled with cold, grey skies, and darkness. But no, most suicides occur in the spring, after warmer weather arrives. The researchers didn’t know why, whether it was because the people who killed themselves needed that extra little boost of energy that came in the spring to remove themselves from their situation, or because whatever they’d hoped would manifest with the change of season didn’t, and they couldn’t hold on any longer.

I’m sorry that Katherine couldn’t hold on, couldn’t see any other way out. I shall miss her. She didn’t take shit from anyone, which is always something I greatly admired. I would have seen her come October when I go back to Tucson for a week, maybe we would have had lunch together.

Something just doesn’t feel right with her gone.

Comments (32)

  1. It is yet fitting…

    …that a writer such as yourself should have a powerful interlude as a first post.

    I learned in acquiring my Psych BA that depressives with suicidal tendencies are most likely to attempt suicide when *things have started to get better*, and I believe that the theoretical reason was that they start to care, again.

    I am sorry for your loss.

    Z

    P.S.: In a much lighter vein, I’m going to make one of those “Welcome to LJ” posts in your honor (like I should have done last night, when I’d noticed you’d appeared, and friended you). If nothing else, it should alert .

    • Re: It is yet fitting…

      I suppose it could be seen as fitting.

      Thanks for the welcome.

  2. It is yet fitting…

    …that a writer such as yourself should have a powerful interlude as a first post.

    I learned in acquiring my Psych BA that depressives with suicidal tendencies are most likely to attempt suicide when *things have started to get better*, and I believe that the theoretical reason was that they start to care, again.

    I am sorry for your loss.

    Z

    P.S.: In a much lighter vein, I’m going to make one of those “Welcome to LJ” posts in your honor (like I should have done last night, when I’d noticed you’d appeared, and friended you). If nothing else, it should alert .

  3. Hello! I don’t think we’ve ever met — I wandered over from . Did this Katherine Lawrence used to live in Southern California? I think we were introduced by a mutual friend, Julia Ecklar, when Julia and I were guests at a filk convention in L.A. a number of years ago and Katherine drove from wherever she was to the con hotel to have lunch or something w/Julia. I’m sorry to be reading about this.

    Oh, and believe it or not, I own a copy of Paper Mage, but haven’t gotten around to reading it.

    • Nice to meet you!

      And yes, I think Katherine used to live in So Cal.

      I hope you do enjoy Paper Mage when you get around to reading it.

  4. Hello! I don’t think we’ve ever met — I wandered over from . Did this Katherine Lawrence used to live in Southern California? I think we were introduced by a mutual friend, Julia Ecklar, when Julia and I were guests at a filk convention in L.A. a number of years ago and Katherine drove from wherever she was to the con hotel to have lunch or something w/Julia. I’m sorry to be reading about this.

    Oh, and believe it or not, I own a copy of Paper Mage, but haven’t gotten around to reading it.

    • Nice to meet you!

      And yes, I think Katherine used to live in So Cal.

      I hope you do enjoy Paper Mage when you get around to reading it.

  5. Katherine did indeed live for many years in the L.A. area, Studio City to be specific. She moved to Tucson over ten years ago.

    Leah, it’s so good to see you here.

    Katie

  6. Katherine did indeed live for many years in the L.A. area, Studio City to be specific. She moved to Tucson over ten years ago.

    Leah, it’s so good to see you here.

    Katie

  7. welcome!

    Glad to see you here, I found your lj through . Sorry to hear about your friend; I hope you and the rest of her family and friends will find some comfort in the days to come. Will you be at Wiscon?

  8. welcome!

    Glad to see you here, I found your lj through . Sorry to hear about your friend; I hope you and the rest of her family and friends will find some comfort in the days to come. Will you be at Wiscon?

  9. Hi Leah. Good to see you on LJ. I’m sorry about your friend. I read about it first on ‘s page.

    -Diana

    • Thanks for the welcome, as well as the sympathy.

      Hope all is well with you –

  10. Hi Leah. Good to see you on LJ. I’m sorry about your friend. I read about it first on ‘s page.

    -Diana

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