Ramblings - Why Writer Traveler?

I've always dreamed of being a writer. I can't remember a time when I didn't have this dream. in my first journal, first page, second paragraph, it says, "I want to be a writer when I grow up." I wrote that when I was 8 years old.

I don't know what it was that sparked such a passion in me. Why I grabbed this idea. I've just always had it.

It took me years to figure out how to be a writer. I don't think I ever figured out the 'growing up' part. Don't think I need to. But how to be a writer, for me, involves setting up my schedule so my writing comes first. It isn't an afterthought. I do it first thing in the mornings. Sometimes earlier. Sometimes later. But I try to do it every day.

Not being a writer has never been a choice for me. I used to only write every now and again. I had a friend who knew me well enough, who watched me, and noticed how my mood cycled, depending on whether I wrote that day or not. He once told me, after a dry spell of a week, "Go. Write. Only you can drain the poison from your soul."

If I leave the words in my head, they start to both ferment and rot, making me crazy and nasty. I have to write. I've figured out how. So that's why I call myself a writer. A writer writes. She doesn't sit around and talk about writing. She doesn't say 'one day I'll write a novel.' She figures out how to make writing a part of life, then she goes ahead and lives that life. Every day.

So that's the writing part.

I haven't always been a traveler, haven't even known how to travel until recently. I took adventures in my head, and I escaped with great books to new and magic places. At some level, I suppose this is traveling.

Except that I need to be the one having the adventures.

I prefer to travel in countries where I don't speak the language, so I get to stretch my language skills. I also prefer to end up some place where there's no running water, no electricity, and not another native English speaker for a ten-mile radius.

As I said, travel for me is something of an adventure. It's a pushing of boundaries for me. Pushing of unseen convictions. I'm hyper-alert when I travel. I am the only one there, and so I need to be extra careful. This doesn't mean I won't accept a ride from a stranger while hitchhiking from Budapest to Lake Balaton. But I always know where my luggage is, where my passport and money are. I don't tend to drink while I travel. Often it's because it's too expensive, but sometimes it's also because I can't afford to be fuzzy headed.

I love meeting new people while I'm traveling. This is another advantage to traveling alone--people see you're alone and include you in their conversation. It's easier to start talking to one stranger, instead of two. Plus, if you're more than one, you already have someone to talk with. A built-in companion. Instead of turning outward for friendship, it's all right there, provided with your ticket.

I also like the constrictions of traveling. If it doesn't fit in my bag, I don't want it. I like the idea of being able to carry everything I own on my back. It helps me remember how little I actually need in my day-to-day life. I have things that I desire for comfort, but so little that I need. Also, if it's too heavy, it's out of here. Or too expensive. I like cutting things down to the bone when I travel. I may be someplace exotic, but I'm doing it on a shoestring if I can.

So why do I define myself as a traveler? I did one big trip - I traveled outside the US for 3 1/2 years. Since then, I've tried to spend at least 2 weeks every year outside the US. (I returned in 1995). I've gone back to Thailand, back to Budapest, for the first time to Chile, Toronto, Mexico (Yucatan peninsula) and Iceland. I'm thinking about going back to China. There's also Greece. . .

Just as I need to write, I need to travel. I need to fill my eye-pallet with different sights and colors. I need to hear new languages, twist my tongue around them. I need to meet new people. Challenge myself to get from point A to point B on a bus system I've never used before. Try to figure out a new money system and do currency calculations in my head. Try to stay on a strict budget, not vacation as a rich American (though that's how much of the world, quite rightly, sees me).

There are differences between travel and vacation. Travel means some uncomfortable situations. It means not being in the majority. It means dealing with people who are local to the area, in some capacity other than servants. It means respectfully exploring this new culture, considering viewpoints that aren't yours (and knowing that yours, the ones held by your subset of your culture, aren't held by everyone else).

Vacationers, and those who aren't real travelers, are concerned with the number of stamps they have in their passports. They came, they shopped, they picked up some cute native souvenir, they left. They can mark that country off their list. They haven't listened to the people. They haven't tried anything beyond the food that's been made specially for them in their tourist island. Maybe they braved the local grocery store, but my god, the prices! Of course, if you're only looking for the luxury, imported goods.

Not all vacationers are like that. Sometimes I like taking a vacation too, where I go and lay on the beach without a care in the world. When I'm not exploring a new place but taking some time off. Travel is not necessarily relaxing. Vacations, I think, should be.

Once I started traveling, I discovered that I needed it. My soul needs to be able to stand on the hiking trail between two glaciers in Iceland, and hear nothing but the wind. No other person, no sound of traffic, middle of nowhere. I need to stand in places like that from time to time. I need the challenge to myself. I need to push, to grow, to change. And travel makes me do that.

In addition, there's nothing like waking up in the morning, with no responsibilities. None. No one knows you. Who you are. Where you're going. What you do for a living. And no one cares. They're all busy with their lives. You can lay in bed until noon that day if you like, just watching the street market beneath your window. Or you can take yourself to all the museums in the city. Or you can take a city bus tour. The possibilities are endless. The freedom, heady. I advise everyone to try it, at least once.

So I write when I travel. And I travel to new places when I write. they're intertwined now. And I need both. So that's why I call myself writer-traveler, because I am.